Juniper Publishers- Stonewalling: Is Your Partner Avoiding the Conversation?


Stonewalling: Is Your Partner Avoiding the Conversation?

What is stonewalling you might ask? According to renowned psychologist Dr. John Gottman of the Gottman Institute in Seattle, WA, “Stonewalling occurs when the listener retreats from the conversation, shutting down from the speaker because they are feeling overwhelmed.” Imagine this scenario – your partner completely disregards you when you want to discuss a particular issue, whatever that may be, and instead turns away from you. How would that feel? Instead of addressing the problematic issues at hand, your partner is now walking away from the situation altogether. Of course, this is enough to cause you to feel ignored and disregarded. Stonewalling is one of the few marriage destroyers if kept up. The others being contempt, criticism, and defensiveness; which Gottman termed “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”.


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